1. Student Ministry is ONLY about Students

My church is really close to an area where a yearly Christian Music Festival is held each year. It’s a big deal to many people, but not to me. I went once and hated every second. My friend’s band was playing on one of the stages and I got in free (that’s the only way I would go). Suffice it to say, I didn’t see the big deal. The merchandise tent was overflowing with overpriced t-shirts, wallets, key chains, hats and many other things I think Jesus would have thrown out of the Temple. The performers were okay, but the chants, screams and teenagers crowding the bottom of the stage looked more like Idol worship than actual worship. The speakers were good, but I didn’t see many people under the age of 25 listening to them.

Over the last 15 years, each year a parent asks me if I am going to take the students to this festival. When I say no I am usually greeted with a litany of reasons I should. It’s an amazing experience…It really helps the kids get closer to each other…It really helps the kids get closer to God…the speakers really challenge the kids…and on and on and on. I usually tell these parents that since the festival is so amazing, it would be a good experience for them to take their children. Some do exactly that, but some, like a mom a few months back, try to make me feel guilty and say something to the effect of, “well, I loved this festival when I was a kid and I just thought MY church would want MY child to have the same experience.” Forgetting for a moment that this mom rarely showed up at HER church, her statement was ridiculous in and of itself.

I don’t want to slam festivals here. I’m sure they do have value, but I just don’t see it and that’s my perception. There is a broader point to be made here though. The point is, this yearly conversation I have with parents is a symptom of a larger issue, namely, that student ministry should be all about the students. Student Ministry is supposed to teach and train students and churches need to sponsor events which get the students away from their parents so they can learn and grow.  That could not be further from the biblical truth.

A paradigm shift is needed in the minds of many outside Student Ministry. It isn’t really needed in many student ministries because most youth leaders get this concept. Student Ministry needs to be about the family. God did not give the responsibility for raising these children to the Student Ministry. He gave those children and the accompanying responsibility for raising them, to moms and dads. Student Ministries exist as a resource to parents, not a replacement. They exist to help students and their parents understand what God desires for them and the one thing God desires in the family more than anything is for moms and dads to step up and be parents, not to push that responsibility off onto someone else.

So, a little evaluation is in order. As youth leaders, we need to evaluate our ministries.
• Are we helping parents?
• Are we scheduling a crap-load of activities, separating parents and their children, fostering this misconception?
• Do we communicate regularly with parents?
• When a student has a complaint about their parents, do we automatically side with the student or do we give their parents the benefit of the doubt?
• How can we help parents be better at what they need to do?

Parents, a bit of evaluation is in order for you as well.
• What do you expect of your church’s student ministry?
• Do you, in any way, abdicate your responsibility as a parent to that ministry?
• How can your Student Ministry help you be a better parent?