The Myth of the Perfect Youth Pastor #21

Myth #21

The Perfect Youth Pastor will demand to be treated with respect like other pastors while acting like one of the students he leads.

Much of what I am going to write from here on out is going to be somewhat painful. It will anger some of you. It may hurt some of you. It may even convict some of you. If it angers or hurts, I apologize. If conviction is felt, you will have to take that one up with God.

If we were to get 10 youth pastors together in a room, they would undoubtedly wind up complaining about not getting any respect. If you have followed this series, you may think I am doing that as well, but I am not. While I do believe youth pastors, by and large are treated as second-class pastors, I do not believe we can claim it is all unfair. Quite honestly, some of that treatment is a product of our own immaturity.

We have all had students who think they deserve to be treated as adults simply for drawing breath. They demand to be treated with respect while acting like a child. They throw tantrums, stomp their feet and scream that they deserve to be given freedom.

Everyone deserves to be treated with respect as a human being, created in the image of God. But, that is just one aspect. Respect is also earned…and lost. Paul told Timothy not to let anyone look down on him because he was young, but he also told him to set an example. That example is what earned him greater respect. That example is what earned him the right to be included into full adult fellowship. The same is true with youth pastors.

We deserve respect because we are created in the image of God. We deserve respect because we have been called to be pastors. But, we do not have the right to be included into full pastoral respect until we start setting an example and many times we do the exact opposite.

One Sunday a few years ago, I was preaching. After the service was over I was speaking to a husband and wife and they shared some disturbing information. They were visiting for the first time and when they heard that the youth pastor was speaking, they almost went to another church. Thankfully, by the grace of God, my message had pleasantly surprised them, but I asked them why they would leave just because the youth pastor was speaking. The answer was convicting. The reason, they explained, was because they had heard many youth pastors speak and had never had a good experience. Youth pastors ramble and never seem to put any real effort into their sermons, they said.

There are youth pastors who put a lot of thought and prayer into their messages and lessons, but apparently this couple had never heard any and they had formed an opinion based on those negative experiences. It is not fair and it is not right, but perception is reality to people and there is a perception that youth pastors are careless with the word of God. There are many other negative perceptions as well and we must realize none of them have been created in a vacuum.

Before we demand respect, we need to step back and take a look at ourselves. Do we take our ministry seriously or do we use our position as a youth pastor in order to live in a state of perpetual adolescence? Do we submit to authority? Do we take responsibility for our mistakes? Do we demand grace without giving any? Are we careful with our words? When we get the opportunity to speak on a Sunday, do we rightfully divide the word of God or do we just wing it and hope no one notices?

We have a large hill to climb in many churches, but if we start taking ourselves seriously, others will do the same.