The Myth of the Perfect Youth Pastor #10

Myth #10

The Perfect Youth Pastor’s ministry will grow numerically even though the church as a whole won’t change and never grows.

I had a discussion with my 90-year-old grandmother a few years ago. Her and my 92-year-old grandfather (apparently longevity is a family trait) have attended the same church for the last 70 years. It’s crazy to think about that because we live in a society where church loyalty is outdated. People leave for all sorts of asinine reasons. But, Nan and Pap came from a different time – a time when one did not leave a church for stupid reasons – they just stuck around and ran the place into the ground.

Nan asked me a question. She said they needed someone like me (all grandma’s say stuff like that) and wanted to know how they can get young people to start coming to their church. I smiled and laughed a bit and gave her an answer that was not entirely true. I told her I didn’t know.

Truth is, I do know. I know that a church with 35 people, ALL over the age of 80 is not going to grow very much, not unless those 35 people are willing to change the way they do things. One thing I’ve learned as a pastor is 80 and 90-year-olds don’t change very easily. I’ve also learned that no one changes very easily, no matter what their age.  I also know there is NO WAY on earth I would ever attempt to work at a church like that.

You see, many people believe that a perfect youth pastor’s youth ministry will grow by leaps and bounds even when the church as a whole is dying. I’ve heard of many churches who want to bring in a youth pastor for just that reason.  They want to grow their youth ministry which, they reason, will then grow the church. So, they hire the youngest, most inexperienced person they can afford (which usually is right above the poverty level in Nepal), and then proceed to heap huge loads of expectations on him. When he fails to meet those expectations in 6 months, he is hounded by the church leadership until he resigns in frustration. I’d be willing to bet there are thousands of potentially great youth pastors selling cars right now because they think they failed as a youth pastor. The reality is, they didn’t fail at being a youth pastor, they just failed to meet the unreasonable expectations of a church and failed to have reasonable expectations for themselves. That’s another topic though.

Here’s how this situation usually plays out.

Step One

The new youth pastor is told he will be a valued member of the team. He is told that the church is fully in support of his efforts to bring young people to the church.

Step Two

The new youth pastor informs the church leadership that he needs a youth room.

The leadership tells him he can’t have a youth room because the rooms are all used for the Ladies Quilting Group, the church library which no one uses, the storage room housing the churches historical records including blue prints from the first building, the Men’s Bible Study, and the evangelism class which talks a good game, but never actually gets around to doing any real evangelism.

Step Three

The new youth pastor requests a raise in his budget so he can do some community youth outreaches.

The leadership informs him that there is no money for a youth budget because they have to fund the annual Christmas and Easter Cantata as well as purchase new hymnals.

Step Four

The new youth pastor requests the use of the church bus to take a group of teens snow tubing.

The leadership denies the request because the idea of a bunch of teens tracking snow and mud in the bus is unacceptable.

Step Five

After meeting in his one-bedroom apartment for 5 months, the new youth pastor decides he needs to find a place with more space. So, he asks the owner of a local warehouse if he has any rooms he could use. The local business man readily agrees because he likes the new youth pastor.

A few days later the church leadership informs the new youth pastor that he cannot meet in the business owner’s warehouse because the business owner either:

• Doesn’t attend their church

• Is not a Christian (he’s a LUTHERAN!)

• Has been divorced

• Let’s his wife wear pants

• Also owns a bar on the other side of town

The leadership is also fuming that the new youth pastor did not get their approval for this.

Step Six

Using his own money, the new youth pastor purchases some new NIV Student Bibles to give to the teens.

The leadership chastises him and wants to know why he didn’t buy King James Bibles and demands that he return the NIVs immediately.

Step Seven

The church’s semi-annual business meeting is held. Having met the 20-member requirement for a quorum, the meeting begins. The new youth pastor is brought up to give his report which is then followed by a round of questions no one bothered to ask him in private. The questions include:

• Why aren’t there aren’t more youth in the church service?

• Why was there a cigarette butt found on church property?

• Why doesn’t he tell the youth they aren’t allowed to skateboard anywhere on church grounds?

• Sister Martha wants to know how the lamp in her Young at Heart class got broken.

• Why are there only 4 kids in the youth group? Isn’t he working hard enough?

• Why was he seen at a local High School at 2 p.m. instead of being in the office working?

Step Eight

The church leadership meets in a private meeting without the new youth pastor to discuss the new youth pastor. In that meeting, accusations are made against the new youth pastor. The next day, the Senior Pastor meets with him to give him the summary of the meeting. The church leadership decides one of several things:

• The new youth pastor is not cut out for the job and the want his resignation.

• The new youth pastor needs some goals and accountability.

• The new youth pastor is fired.

Step Nine

The new youth pastor becomes a new or pre-owned car salesman and now believes that he is a failure at something to which he once believed he was called.

The Myth of the Perfect Youth Pastor #9

Myth #9

The perfect youth pastor must be willing to live off the smallest salary, work in the smallest office and work with the smallest budget in the church all while believing what the people of the church tell them that “the youth ministry is very important to is”.

At the outset, I want to again be very clear that most of what I have written does not apply to the church in which I currently serve. Myth #8 absolutely does not apply here. I am treated very well. My gifts and abilities are valued. The staff at this church is amazing. The people in the church are wonderful, gracious and loving and I would not want to be any place else.

I fully realize that many who may read this are not in a church where they feel valued or where they are encouraged. You are told how valuable you are, but the paycheck doesn’t say the same thing. You are told how important the students are to the church, but the budget doesn’t seem to reflect that importance. You are told that you are a valued member of the pastoral staff while standing in the expansive Senior Pastor’s office only to leave and squeeze back into your janitors-closet-turned-office to try and get some work done.

If that applies to you, please know that I am well aware of what you are going through and I pray for you frequently…maybe not by name, but certainly by circumstance.

I’ve been there. I know what it is like to ask for a raise to help support my family only to be told that I need to meet certain “benchmarks” when I had already literally given blood, sweat and plenty of tears. I know the feeling of not being valued.

Please understand, I’m not in ministry for money.  I don’t expect to get rich.  I don’t need a BMW or designer clothes.  I don’t need a Rolex (or even a Citizen) watch.  But, I do expect fairness.

I don’t really know what it’s like to operate on a shoestring budget, but I know plenty of guys who do. A friend of mine was at a church where they had a Cemetery Budget larger than the youth budget. No kidding, the church seemed to think that taking care of dead people was more important than those who were alive and kicking. The youth pastor there was allowed to borrow money from the cemetery budget to do ministry to, you know, actual LIVE PEOPLE but had to pay it back so they could take care of rotting and rotten corpses.

Many church members would not think twice about spending thousands of dollars on new hymnals, organs or hand bells, but when it comes time to increase the youth budget or update the youth room, a sudden and unexplained budget crisis pops up.

Go to any church. Speak to any member. You will hear the same things:

“The youth are important to us.”

“We value youth.”

“Youth ministry is a priority to us.”

If that were true, then all we need to do is see how much those churches pay their youth pastor, how much his budget is, and what his office looks like. Jesus said (paraphrased of course), where our treasure is reveals where our priorities are. James says, faith without works is dead. I say, if you really value youth ministry, then put up or shut up. That may sound harsh, but I make no apology for the statement.

Good youth pastors will be able to work with whatever they have, but, talent, skill and enthusiasm can only take a ministry so far. If a church wants a good youth ministry, they need to have some skin in the game.